


Hanging Onto Every Word

by sweeterthankarma



Category: The Carrie Diaries
Genre: Background Carrie Bradshaw/Sebastian Kydd, F/F, Sexual Identity Discussions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2018-11-15
Packaged: 2019-08-23 21:13:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16626557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweeterthankarma/pseuds/sweeterthankarma
Summary: Carrie’s keeping up as best she can, but for a second she thinks she may have misheard her. There’s no way she can miss the female pronouns that leave Larissa’s mouth, though, not when they're tangled with promiscuous details Carrie doesn’t know how she has the courage to share so brazenly. Today’s shade of lipstick coated across her always moving lips is a deep purple, and they spill compelling secrets that make Carrie’s heart pound with adrenaline, embracing the fantasy that is Larissa’s real, honest life.





	Hanging Onto Every Word

**Author's Note:**

> I recently started watching The Carrie Diaries— mainly for the loveliness that is Freema Agyeman in any role— and while I can't really imagine any kind of romance between Carrie and Larissa (and believe me, my femslash loving ass tried lol) I find the relationship between the two of them to be so fascinating. Given the influence Larissa has on Carrie due to her status and age, she's certainly gotten her to think about lots of things she wouldn't have even considered before. Since she's so open with her sexuality, this idea came almost instantly and it was a lot of fun to write!

Carrie is a little overstimulated, as she always is, in Larissa’s presence. They’re making calculated strides in a cramped store filled with more clothing racks than Carrie thinks must be legally allowed, and the space itself is definitely over capacity with occupants, too. Larissa had said the place was going out of business and so everything was on sale, but Carrie thinks that can’t be true because there’s more people coming in with new shipments than there were in the dressing room at Century 21 last Friday during rush hour, and also there’s more zeroes on these price tags than she thinks she may have ever seen in her life.

Regardless, she juggles three cups of coffee in her hands — one for her, two for Larissa — while garments get thrown over her shoulder faster than she can keep track. Larissa flips through a hundred clothes hangers a minute and Carrie reels, partly due to the fact they’re in a part of the city she’s never even seen (and here she was thinking she was getting familiar with these streets) and also because Larissa is talking about her ex- _ girlfriend. _

Carrie’s keeping up as best she can, but for a second she thinks she may have misheard her. There’s no way she can miss the female pronouns that leave Larissa’s mouth, though, not when they're tangled with promiscuous details Carrie doesn’t know how she has the courage to share so brazenly. Today’s shade of lipstick coated across her always moving lips is a deep purple, and they spill compelling secrets that make Carrie’s heart pound with adrenaline, embracing the fantasy that is Larissa’s real, honest life.  

She grins, perfectly straight teeth shining bright in the fluorescent glare of the ceiling lights. She watches Carrie’s reaction, her incredulousness always boosting her ego and then, as if nothing had occurred, she grabs a hat nearby, tries it on, and tosses it back onto the shelf without even the slightest contempt for where it ends up, disinterested.

Carrie doesn’t realize her mouth is open, but she’s standing and waiting, for what she doesn’t know. When Larissa turns around, she’s quick to set her jaw. 

    “What’s the matter? Did you like that hat?” she asks.

Carrie tightens her grip on one of the coffees. “No, sorry, I…I didn’t know you were a lesbian.” 

She winces when the words come out, afraid Larissa will mistake her naivety for judgment, but before her cheeks can grow hot and she can stumble over an apology, Larissa chuckles loudly, clearly unbothered. As she laughs, Carrie reminds herself to not worry so much about Larissa’s ego — she clearly has it far more in check than she does. 

    “ Bisexual, darling,” Larissa says as if it’s the easiest thing in the world, and maybe it is. 

    “Oh,” is all Carrie says. 

Larissa picks up a different hat, settles it on her head with a hum of acknowledgement. “Are you?”

Involuntarily, Carrie’s eyes widen. “Am I?  _ Bisexual?” _ The world trips on her tongue like its foreign, although she knows it shouldn’t be. “No, I....I could never. I mean, no offense, I love girls, but I don’t  _ love  _ girls, you know?”

Larissa looks at her like she’s the most peculiar thing she’s ever seen. 

    “I _ don’t _ know,” she says with a glittering, almost teasing smile. “Clearly.” 

She steps closer and Carrie’s blood ruins quicker; she reaches over to tuck a stray blond curl behind her ear, and then places the hat on her head. 

Her gaze lingers, just for a moment. Carrie has the strangest sensation where she swears she can feel the bond between them transforming, twisting and changing as the seconds pass. Then, Larissa nods sharply, muttering something in approval that Carrie can’t make out, and the spell is broken. She urges Carrie to the next rack, or rather she just walks and expects her to keep up. 

    “Keep that hat on, I think I like it,” she says. “At least on someone like you.”

Carrie can’t help but wonder what kind of person Larissa perceives her to be. 

    “And anyways,” she goes on, “that’s alright. You’re young, you shouldn’t worry about labels quite yet. You’ll figure your attraction out in time, and believe me, it will take time.”

Carrie hums in response, thinking. “Well...if I’m being honest, I never even really thought about liking girls like that. I mean, I know I like boys.” 

Even as she speaks, she can’t stop her mind from drifting to Sebastian and she smiles, a bit like a lovesick puppy and she’s well aware of it. She’s attracted to him, no doubt about it— the way he looks when he gets out of the pool, hair dripping golden-blond in the sunlight that filters through the windows, covering his body like he’s some kind of god. The memory of his touch feels like it’s burned into her mind— his hands wrapping around her waist, strong and firm but gentle all the same— and the brush of his stubble on her chin when he kisses her after a few days without shaving makes something curl low in her stomach, every time. She’s in love, and it’s impossible to deny her attraction, especially when it affects her so viscerally, in both her body and her mind. But still, Larissa has her intrigued, changing her perspective and urging her to test the waters of her own reality, as she always manages to do.

    “Yeah, I definitely like boys,” Carrie says when Larissa is too distracted with a necklace to respond, or maybe she’s waiting for her to say more. “I know that for a fact.”

Larissa looks up from the diamonds and smiles. “Well, sweetheart, for your sake, I hope you get to experience the divinity and intensity of attraction towards a woman— someday, in any sense. Women are just so special.”

Carrie can’t deny that.

    “Now, come, I think I see matching earrings over here,” Larissa says, and in seconds she’s dashing behind racks and almost pushing another customer over in the process.

Carrie smiles and follows. 

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Tumblr under the same username, sweeterthankarma.


End file.
